Am I Some Kind of an Asshole?

Does it make me an asshole that I don’t give a rat’s rump about memorials / monuments? I guess I know why some people are drawn to them but it’s not for me. Recently I was asked if I intended to attend two popular new memorials. The 9/11 memorial and the MLK memorial in D.C. and both times that I was asked I thought… “um…Why?”.. I didn’t say it though.. Probably because I thought the person asking would think I was some kinda asshole (even though the people asking are people fairly close to me and should know I’m not one but still). Like who doesn’t honor Dr. King and 9/11 victims? Only an asshole. But I’m not a bad person. I just don’t need stone constructions (or in the case of the MLK memorial, a borderline eyesore) to help me honor something. I honor by actually knowing something about it or acknowledging the reason the said person or event was important to our lives and our history but I don’t feel anything when I go to a memorial. I visited the Vietnam memorial when I was a kid. I was with my dad who is a veteran and I remember feeling for him when he located the names of people he knew on the memorial wall. So I’m not saying monuments are bad. I’m saying they don’t do it for me personally. And if they do it for you don’t go around taking tentative memorial attendance so as not to make the rest of us feel weird.

P.S. That MLK memorial looks weird. Why does he seem to be looking down on all of us like it's judgement day? You're not the boss of me stone Dr. King!

P.S.S And yes I believe in going to grave sites of loved ones but that's different. It just is. That explanation is for a different post.

What kind of an Asshole Feeds Pigeons?

As the first installment to my "what kind of an asshole..?" series I would like to start with pigeon feeders. What kind of an asshole feeds pigeons? You live in a city! There are other people here who dont want pigeons flocking over head spreading dirty pigeon feathers and dust and possible poop.. the pigeons are here, we accept them but do we need them rushing in from overhead in a frenzy over some pieces of bread? I think not. Get a life pigeon feeders! or a Kindle, or an iPad or angry birds or whatever people do to keep themselves quiet these days.

The Night I Fell in Love with a Stripper

So I was dreading this particular plan to go to a female strip club for a friend’s bachelorette party. I was of course dreading it less than if it were a club that featured male strippers but dreading it nonetheless. But I was ready to suck it up and deal because that’s what friends do. But when I got there I was pleasantly surprised. The stage was surrounded by the bar making it a lot less intimidating for a girl like me who has no desire for a lap dance or any kinda female nakedness rubbing up on me. Watching is fine. Watching I can do. So I relaxed… And then there was her.

At that moment I knew why that song “I’m in love with a stripper” by T-Pain came about. I’m sure he and I had different reasons, different motivations. But the love was there nonetheless.

This girl makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to stick with my cardio routine, she makes me want to remember that I am all that (before I’m not anymore) and I shouldn’t forget it.. Yea all of that!

Here is why I was so impressed. The girl could dance. I don’t mean shake her thang I mean DANCE. Like Alvin Ailey, Martha Graham classically trained Judith Jameson DANCE. Graceful, perfect poses, perfect positions, athleticism, she was modern dance she was ballet but she was basically naked and yes there was a pole. But I also respected her nakedness because she wasn’t getting by on a big ole dookie bootie or some huge fake knockers. She had a short hair cut like a man, no weave, slim, brown skin, small build like me. I think that’s the other reason I liked her. She was more relatable to me than the other jiggly bootie broads. And leave it to me to seek out inspiration and relatability in a strip club at 1am. So I got change of a $20 and let her know my appreciation for her the only way I could. When in Rome… I wish I knew her name.

It's Probably Just Me But...

Why does Miles Morales, the new 1/2 black 1/2 latino Spiderman (who only exists in the comic books and not in Marvel's bigger universe) look like he could be Erykah Badu's son?