A few weeks ago I heard a news story about a newborn that was thrown 8 stories down a trash shoot in an apartment building and survived. It got me to thinking… If his teenaged mother didn’t want him then I can only assume she didn’t make regular doctor’s appointments, take pre-natal vitamins, go to Lamaze classes, switch to a diet of organic fruits and vegetables (she’d be hard pressed to find them in the hood anyway) and cut out caffeine. But despite the presumed lack of attention in the womb, lack of medical care, an unassisted at-home delivery AND being dropped 8 stories into garbage (I would want to bathe in a boiling tub of anti-bacterial gel and I’m no newborn). He Lived. And it made me wonder if it’s foolish to think we can control something like conception, pregnancy and birth. What I mean is, someone like me would have been careful and healthy to the point of obsessive and annoying if I were pregnant. I would want to do everything in my power to make sure I am healthy and the baby is healthy and people who are like me still have miscarriages or problems getting pregnant. Although I am not religious I know that doing “everything in my power” is all I can do and there is a large part of it that clearly isn’t in my power. It almost seems like if a baby gon’ live he gon’ live (almost) no matter what you do. And a control freak like me hates that idea. But the evidence is astounding (evidence meaning what I've heard, I have not performed any official studies). I recently read a book about a woman who was addicted to alcohol, promiscuous sex and drugs and had three abortions (she was white. Stop stereotyping!) and she still had a healthy child at like 40 years old. I am sure you have just as many similar examples. Look at Keyshia Cole’s momma. Seven healthy kids all while she was abusing crack. REALLY?! It’s almost maddening. But it’s one of the most humbling realizations that any of us can have. This is not meant to disregard the millions of babies born with complications due to improper care in the womb. But still. We aren’t really in as much control as we’d like to think we are. That’s not to say I’m not going to keep trying to be.
I'm beginning to learn that control is a figment of everyone's imagination...but we just keep on dreaming because we don't know what else to do...
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