Small Talk is for Suckers

Small talk is painful, I hate it and I want it to die. Working in corporate America makes small talk totally necessary to my mere survival as a normal, socially acceptable individual but I despise it. Someone has to make it stop! If someone asks me how my Fourth of July weekend was I am screaming out in pain in my head. I tell them it was good and then if they need more I force out a comment about time with friends and family and then right before I throw up I try to end the conversation or walk away. And sometimes I’m forced to ask “how was yours?” Which really sickens me almost as much as the smell of tuna because now I am becoming part of the problem. I can’t take it. I don’t even want to listen to other people partaking in it. And for some people it’s their only form of conversation. So why not just stay quiet?

Then one person wanted to follow the miserable conversation up with a question about whether or not I’m taking any vacation time this summer. WHO CARES?

Me: yea just a few days to go see my brother in Texas

Coworker: oh Texas. It’s gonna be hot

Me: yes...hot (fake laugh, faker smile)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!