Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dedicated Parents

I don't think you should be allowed to name all of your sons after you if they are going to end up in foster care. Nephra Payne and Shanel Nadal have 8 kids together (yes I'm impressed they all have the same father) and all 8 are in foster care. Apparently they were taken from Shanel when Nephra reported that they were being abused. But obviously he didn't have the resources to take custody since they ended up in foster care.
The couple stole the kids last week but they were recently caught and picked up in Pennsylvania. But the most disturbing part of the story for me is now there are 7 young boys named Nephra! (the one girl is named Nefertiti). It's not like when George Foreman named all his kids George. At least he's a successful athlete and grill salesman.

Is this Necessary?

Hand washing instructions posted in the kitchen at my job.. Courtesy of the Department of Health.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hi Hater!


I know NYC has it all.. but why we can’t have Chick Fil A or Cracker Barrel? Is this some kinda ploy to keep New Yorkers relatively excited when they have to travel to the south? I mean what gives?! The owners of these brands don’t like money!?

Does it please them to withhold something from us, to remind us that we have almost everything.. but not quite?
I like to shop for apple butter and peanut chews while I’m waiting for my table as much as the next person. I like real chicken nuggets with Polynesian sauce, waffle fries and Oreo cookie milk shakes too. I can’t have that?!

My Weave is not Meant to Deceive

So how do you address added inches of hair with white people at work? This was an issue for me because I don’t normally wear weaves and now that I decided to add 2 tracks and about 4-5 inches I realized that I ended up wearing my hair in a ponytail all week in an effort to avoid the “Did you do something different with your hair?” conversation. By the 4th day I was over it and it was long and flowing like it had been on the weekend. In 2011 where white chics are getting weaves and calling them “extensions” I don’t believe I should have to worry about this but I still did. Not just because I don’t like discussing black hair with white people so they can stare at you like you’re a science experiment (I’m not making this up, try being 10 yrs old with corn rows at an all white sleep away camp), but also because I don’t like small talk in general (see previous blog post on hating small talk) with people I am not really friends with. So here are a few responses I came up with in case you are forced to discuss your weave with co-workers, classmates or friends of the Caucasian persuasion.

Caucasian: Did you do something different with your hair?

-         Different? Nothing’s different?
-         How do you mean?
-         Yes… (coupled with blank stare)
-          It grows really really fast in the summer
-         My momma got Indian in her family
-         Outre-Yaki-#2-16 inches guuurrlll! (coupled with neck roll and 2 snaps)

Or whatever you want. Here’s the thing. These days I do not believe the weave is meant to deceive, I see it as an accessory or a style change like any other. No, black women don’t wish they were white. Girls just like hair!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Am I Some Kind of an Asshole?

Does it make me an asshole that I don’t give a rat’s rump about memorials / monuments? I guess I know why some people are drawn to them but it’s not for me. Recently I was asked if I intended to attend two popular new memorials. The 9/11 memorial and the MLK memorial in D.C. and both times that I was asked I thought… “um…Why?”.. I didn’t say it though.. Probably because I thought the person asking would think I was some kinda asshole (even though the people asking are people fairly close to me and should know I’m not one but still). Like who doesn’t honor Dr. King and 9/11 victims? Only an asshole. But I’m not a bad person. I just don’t need stone constructions (or in the case of the MLK memorial, a borderline eyesore) to help me honor something. I honor by actually knowing something about it or acknowledging the reason the said person or event was important to our lives and our history but I don’t feel anything when I go to a memorial. I visited the Vietnam memorial when I was a kid. I was with my dad who is a veteran and I remember feeling for him when he located the names of people he knew on the memorial wall. So I’m not saying monuments are bad. I’m saying they don’t do it for me personally. And if they do it for you don’t go around taking tentative memorial attendance so as not to make the rest of us feel weird.

P.S. That MLK memorial looks weird. Why does he seem to be looking down on all of us like it's judgement day? You're not the boss of me stone Dr. King!

P.S.S And yes I believe in going to grave sites of loved ones but that's different. It just is. That explanation is for a different post.

Monday, September 12, 2011

What kind of an Asshole Feeds Pigeons?

As the first installment to my "what kind of an asshole..?" series I would like to start with pigeon feeders. What kind of an asshole feeds pigeons? You live in a city! There are other people here who dont want pigeons flocking over head spreading dirty pigeon feathers and dust and possible poop.. the pigeons are here, we accept them but do we need them rushing in from overhead in a frenzy over some pieces of bread? I think not. Get a life pigeon feeders! or a Kindle, or an iPad or angry birds or whatever people do to keep themselves quiet these days.