Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
First of all its an American thing, we think its un-american to not be totally happy with every effin thing and to not have every single thing we want.. That kind of thinking has everyone's perspective warped or non-existent. But I think happiness can be found in the small things that we experience everyday. Here are some of mine.
1. They suspended parking rules AND meters today so I don't have to move my car
2. My apartment is warm and cozy and I don't have to leave it
3. My niece got a toy phone for Christmas and when my nephew went to play with it I was the first person he fake called
4. A great book
5. A good movie.. or a bad movie and a friend to trash it with
6. Shout outs for my blog
7. Buy one get one free cereal at CVS
8. Any awesome sale or discount
9. My bf was here to shovel out a parking spot for me last night
10. A new TV in my bedroom to watch Intervention, Hoarders, Celebrity Rehab, The Real Housewives of ATL, The First 48 and other embarrassing TV
I could go on but I think you get the point. Life is here today right now. I hope you aren't waiting for a happy package to arrive. And we all have bad moods and bad days. its ok. Have a drink, or a pill or some french fries.. I won't tell.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
There aren't really any wack songs. I can listen to this album straight through. He is certainly darker and more eccentric than Kanye used to be hence the title of the album. However, I like how Kanye is able to evolve his sound and his lyrics and deliver great music without really making you just wish he was the old Kanye. And isn't that what we often feel once some artists get past their second album? It might be what you were thinking when you heard "808's and Heartbreaks". But this is his fifth album and I'm into it.
"Monster" is my favorite track right now. But by the time I get tired of it I know there will be other tracks for me to re-discover and obsess over the way I am with "Monster". Rick Ross is totally unnecessary on this song. It's like if you forgot your drink in the kitchen you can go get it while Rick Ross' verse starts then make it back really quick before Kanye comes in. Or maybe that is too harsh. Maybe he is a nice warm up for everyone else. Jay-Z is hard. Nicki Minaj comes tough, it's almost like she had no choice. It's pretty awesome. By the way, does anyone know what a sarcophagus is? Kanye says "Put the pu**y in a sarcophagus." I just had to look it up. According to dictionary.com it's "a stone coffin, esp. one bearing sculpture, inscriptions, etc.," So I guess he isn't just making stuff up here.
"Gorgeous" is exciting because Raekwon is on it. And just hearing his voice takes me back to the 90's. I love the track on "Devil in a New Dress", maybe Rick Ross is more necessary on this one. Give the whole album a listen. On the ugotthejuicenow blogspot scale I give it 4 out of 5 cups of juice. On "All of the Lights" as soon as Rihanna comes in she reminds me of the SNL "Shy Ronnie" skit. Too funny! check it out.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Like many of us born before the mid 1980’s I instinctively did not want to like Nicki Minaj. But as time went on and as the radio banged her into my head constantly I realized that I may need to set aside my jadedness about the state of hip hop and main stream radio and give this girl a real listen. I mean she is a female rapper from
Pink Friday is cool. It’s not great, I don’t love it but I don’t dislike it the way I thought I would. Most of what I already heard on the radio is not impressive like “Your Love” and “Right Thru Me”. Too much singing and I guess these are supposed to appeal to the girls since it’s singing about liking boys but I’ll pass on those. My favorites on the album are “I’m the Best” and “Dear Old Nicki” In both of those songs she is rapping which is exactly what I needed. She comes more honest and raw in these 2 tracks. She addresses the former underground mix-tape Nicki which true hip hop fans respect. But we also understand that mix-tape Nicki won’t get rich (pour out some liquor or donate a dollar for broke mix-tape rappers). “I’m the best” is a nice introduction to the album. She talks about how before she couldn’t buy her mother a couch and now she is sitting at the closing buying her mother a house.. How even when her Dad was on Crack she was Crack. Its straight up, it’s a look-at-me-now story and I respect it. “Dear Old Nicki” is a letter to her former self and a plea for that old girl to still be there waiting for her when she needs her. She is pleading with her to “please call back”. Who can’t relate to feeling like they miss the person they once were for any number of reasons. And it is also relatable to hip hop fans who miss the former Nicki Minaj almost as much as she might. I also like “Did it on em” where she basically closes any unnecessary debate about her current position in the game by simply stating “she aint a Nicki fan then the bitch deaf, dumb”. “Romans Revenge” is the track featuring Eminem and it’s exciting because Eminem is on it and he brings a certain energy to everything he does. We get an extra bonus because he has 2 verses on this song. But Nicki shoulda come harder for an Eminem collaboration (assuming she can actually come harder). Even Jay Z learned that lesson on “Renegade”. But I like when she goes at Lil Kim “Word, that bitch mad ’cause I took the spot? Well, bitch, if you ain’t shittin’, then get off the pot” Who can argue with that? Special honorable mention to “Check it out” featuring Will I Am. It has a different vibe and unique feel that separates it from the rest of the album so I like it for that reason. Everything else is just ok. I find that I wanted to like “Blazin” more than I actually do just because it featured Kanye West. On the ugotthejuicenow blogspot rating scale I give Pink Friday 2.5 out of 5 cups of juice.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I just want to say that this is not a blog about relationships. And this is not the Why do men do this? and Why can't black men do that? or Why? Why? oh lord Why? Help me please! help me! tell me please! Blog.
I need to say this because I am sick and tired of every single gal having a blog about how hard it is to find a man because they are too cute or too smart or too educated or intimidating or just generally too awesome to find someone.
Here's the thing. That is like going on a job interview and when asked what your weaknesses are you say "I work too hard" or "I am obsessed with my work" or "I am too ambitious". OH yea sure, we're all really impressed. Let's be clear, most of us may not be as awesome as we think we are and that goes for men and women. And it is difficult to find a good man but it is NOT because you are too wonderful and no one can handle your overwhelming magnificence. And another thing, I am also tired of reading articles or seeing news reports or TV show segments on how doomed the black woman is and how she'll never get married and how the situation is so bleek. (and don't think eHarmony or Match.com don't use that propaganda as a marketing tool by starting to show black women with white men in their commercials, which is fine, but don't think I don't notice that you Advertising geniuses). We get it. It ain't easy being you (being us) but if you are as over-educated as you say you are and if you do possess this superior intelligence then stop letting the media victimize you, stop feeling helpless or hopeless because of the reports and statistics and find some other topics to discuss, what with your vast knowledge and life experience and all.
Why are we as Americans or human beings so fat? I don't mean fat in poundage. I mean fat in our thinking. Corporations are always thinking up new ways to make our food fatter and our fat-minded asses are always willing to try it. I call some of these things "made up food" meaning it is food that didn't exist in the combination it's being marketed in or in any form a few decades ago. One of the earliest examples that I know of is McDonald's attempt at selling people the pineapple burger. This was for Catholics who didn't eat meat on Fridays during Lent and it was before they came up with the Filet-o-Fish. Now C'mon, you know you woulda tried this non-sense (grilled pineapple slice and a slice of cheese in between 2 buns.. YUM). But anyway here are some of my recent faves:
- Dunkin Donuts Sausage Pancake Bites - Because sausage and pancakes aren't fat enough on their own. Here are the ingredients in case your mouth isn't watering yet. Move over pigs-in-a-blanket. We got pigs in a pancake cocoon of fatness.
- The McDonald's McGriddle - Because the egg McMuffin isn't fat enough for us fattys. Bread is boring. Let's bake some maple flavoring into the pancake (instead of pouring maple flavored high fructose corn syrup on top) AND get half the calories you need for the entire day before noon..Awesome! Care to know what this is made of? go ahead? click here take a look.. I didn't think you would.
ok ok no more picking on breakfast. on to my next fave!
- The KFC Double Down - because plain old bread isn't fat enough. Let's just skip the fluff and sandwich some bacon and cheese and mystery sauce 'tween two ginormous hormone injected chicken breasts, get the fried version for extra all American fatness.
The list of made up food is endless. Enjoy! And don't forget to give thanks tomorrow. By EATING.
Friday, November 19, 2010
When I was a kid I would be waiting for the JC Penney Christmas Catalog to come out right about now so my brother and I could make an excel spreadsheet style chart using rulers, pens and plain white paper to input the item numbers, page numbers and product names of all the toys we wanted (Just so there was no confusion for Mom or Santa or whoever would do the shopping). For some of us Snowy Christmases have turned into strangely warm Christmases in the South and it just somehow doesn’t feel “right” and certainly not the “same”. Maybe we all need a trip to 5th avenue or Rockefeller Center or The Christmas Show at Radio City Music Hall to get our Christmas Mojo back. But can any of us really go to see the Christmas Window display at Macy’s without dreading the crowds on 34th street and cursing the tourists? Or maybe you have to have kids to recapture the joys and miracles again and enable you to take the attention off of yourself and not dwell on the fact that it’s not the “same” and allow you to focus on building new traditions, instead of selfishly clinging to old ones. I guess the key takeaway here is that like hip hop, house parties, playing outside, kids riding without car seats, riding bikes without helmets, record stores and scripted television shows, Holidays can’t remain the same. I guess we have to adjust.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
And I am not one that thinks that kids will be influenced to be gay just by seeing gay people but I STILL wouldn’t want to be going anywhere with my nephew or my godson and have to try to explain this. Is it overkill? Or am I not as liberal as I thought I was. I don’t know. Maybe I need a few more days to mull this over.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
So I have hated Diddy for a long time and there are tons of blogs that will tell you all about how he does artists wrong etc. but this is my list and the cheated artists are only 1 reason. And yes he is a successful black man blah blah blah…. Can’t stand him.
The Top 10 reasons I hate Diddy.. and one more
1. His name is Diddy.. And he keeps changing it.. who cares. I mean really.
2. He needs Rosetta Stone… For ENGLISH. He is so inarticulate I cringe when he speaks and I close my eyes until its over. Make it stop! Make it stop! (Has anyone seen the Pro Activ commercial? “I aint want no bumps on my face”
3. He thinks people take him seriously. They don’t. They can’t. Maybe they take his money seriously but Caucasians everywhere laugh behind his back when he leaves meetings. Oh and black people too. I would.
4. He’s an eternal baby daddy… Really Diddy? Really? Give Kim Porter a ring. Please! She’s been through enough (sigh).
5. “Butta Wavy’s” We all know Diddy loves the Butta Wavy’s. A term I heard him use on some interview somewhere to describe the “better” looking fair skin-long hair-anything-that-doesn’t-look fully-black features of his favorite flavor of woman. But here’s the thing.. his twin daughters aren’t “Butta” or “Wavy” and even sadder for them I think they look like Diddy. I could write 8 posts on this topic but I won’t. not today.
6. I was going to list the M.I.A. Bad Boy Artists of the last decade plus. But why bother.. see them all here.. no one can list them all.. not even Diddy.. who I hate by the way.
7. He thinks he is funnier than he is. No one has the heart to tell him otherwise
8. Why isn’t he tired of the limelight yet? Does he really still need to be on stage? There are tons of things for him to do behind the scenes and still make money and leave room to feature actual artists.. Or here is a wild idea, take some time off and spend with all them damn kids. This is why rich people’s daughters end up in porn and on ecstasy and coke. They do it because they hate you DADDY!! I mean Puffy, I mean Diddy..
9. Al B Sure’s look alike ain’t your son! How you gon act like Al B Sure is dead, throw a super sweet 16 (yes for a boy) and then call it “Stuntin like my daddy” You ain’t his daddy.. if you marry his mom you can be his Step daddy.. but let’s not get crazy here, Diddy ain't marryin that girl
10. Ciroc would sell better if he wasn’t in the commercials
11. He Butchered "A Raisin in the Sun". I feel bad for Phylicia Rashad and all real actors that had to share the stage with his fool ass just because he has A.D.D and wants to do every single thing that may get him some attention.
Monday, November 8, 2010
But then a male friend told me that some people feel the movie left you with nothing positive about black men so here I am. (sigh) I didn’t want to have to do this.
a) The movie doesn’t have to say anything positive about black men. Get over it. You got Hill Harper, he was a nice guy right? Geez!
b) It was based on a book / play from however many years ago. So the movie didn’t try to completely re-invent the play (as it shouldn’t have) and add more nice things about black men to make everyone feel better.
c) Isn’t every article and blog these days about how black women are so troubled or horrible or angry or whatever and how they are going to be single forever..? So why I ask, if there is a movie just to empower black women is this such a threat?
Ok that’s all. I got it out. Thanks for listening and do not feel compelled to answer my last question. It was rhetorical. (P.S. I like Michael Ealy so I’m only putting a pic of him as a visual representation of this entry despite what he did to dem babies in the movie.. how’s that for supporting black men? Again... Don’t answer that)