Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pink Friday Album Review

Like many of us born before the mid 1980’s I instinctively did not want to like Nicki Minaj. But as time went on and as the radio banged her into my head constantly I realized that I may need to set aside my jadedness about the state of hip hop and main stream radio and give this girl a real listen. I mean she is a female rapper from Queens, making money. Respect Due! I started to like certain songs (mainly her guest appearances like Ludacris’ “My Chick Bad”) although I didn’t want to like them and certain lyrics made me realize the girl has some skills when you push past all the sing songy-ness and the random foreign accents and chicken head twang. Although I’m a notorious hater it’s objective hate like Star and Bucwild so I will say I think she can rap. Is she the greatest? No. but when she is just rapping, I like it. I like the energy that we haven’t seen from female rappers in ages. She isn’t Rah Digga or Lauren Hill but she found an opening and she took it. It’s her time and I think it works for her.

Pink Friday is cool. It’s not great, I don’t love it but I don’t dislike it the way I thought I would.  Most of what I already heard on the radio is not impressive like “Your Love” and “Right Thru Me”. Too much singing and I guess these are supposed to appeal to the girls since it’s singing about liking boys but I’ll pass on those. My favorites on the album are “I’m the Best” and “Dear Old Nicki” In both of those songs she is rapping which is exactly what I needed. She comes more honest and raw in these 2 tracks. She addresses the former underground mix-tape Nicki which true hip hop fans respect. But we also understand that mix-tape Nicki won’t get rich (pour out some liquor or donate a dollar for broke mix-tape rappers). “I’m the best” is a nice introduction to the album. She talks about how before she couldn’t buy her mother a couch and now she is sitting at the closing buying her mother a house.. How even when her Dad was on Crack she was Crack. Its straight up, it’s a look-at-me-now story and I respect it. “Dear Old Nicki” is a letter to her former self and a plea for that old girl to still be there waiting for her when she needs her. She is pleading with her to “please call back”. Who can’t relate to feeling like they miss the person they once were for any number of reasons. And it is also relatable to hip hop fans who miss the former Nicki Minaj almost as much as she might. I also like “Did it on em” where she basically closes any unnecessary debate about her current position in the game by simply stating  “she aint a Nicki fan then the bitch deaf, dumb”. “Romans Revenge” is the track featuring Eminem and it’s exciting because Eminem is on it and he brings a certain energy to everything he does. We get an extra bonus because he has 2 verses on this song. But Nicki shoulda come harder for an Eminem collaboration (assuming she can actually come harder). Even Jay Z learned that lesson on “Renegade”. But I like when she goes at Lil Kim “Word, that bitch mad ’cause I took the spot? Well, bitch, if you ain’t shittin’, then get off the pot” Who can argue with that? Special honorable mention to “Check it out” featuring Will I Am. It has a different vibe and unique feel that separates it from the rest of the album so I like it for that reason. Everything else is just ok. I find that I wanted to like “Blazin” more than I actually do just because it featured Kanye West. On the ugotthejuicenow blogspot rating scale I give Pink Friday 2.5 out of 5 cups of juice.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

This is NOT about Relationships or being single

I just want to say that this is not a blog about relationships. And this is not the Why do men do this? and Why can't black men do that? or Why? Why? oh lord Why? Help me please! help me! tell me please! Blog.
I need to say this because I am sick and tired of every single gal having a blog about how hard it is to find a man because they are too cute or too smart or too educated or intimidating or just generally too awesome to find someone.
Here's the thing. That is like going on a job interview and when asked what your weaknesses are you say "I work too hard" or "I am obsessed with my work" or "I am too ambitious". OH yea sure, we're all really impressed. Let's be clear, most of us may not be as awesome as we think we are and that goes for men and women. And it is difficult to find a good man but it is NOT because you are too wonderful and no one can handle your overwhelming magnificence. And another thing, I am also tired of reading articles or seeing news reports or TV show segments on how doomed the black woman is and how she'll never get married and how the situation is so bleek. (and don't think eHarmony or Match.com don't use that propaganda as a marketing tool by starting to show black women with white men in their commercials, which is fine, but don't think I don't notice that you Advertising geniuses). We get it. It ain't easy being you (being us) but if you are as over-educated as you say you are and if you do possess this superior intelligence then stop letting the media victimize you, stop feeling helpless or hopeless because of the reports and statistics and find some other topics to discuss, what with your vast knowledge and life experience and all.

What the YUCK!

Why are we as Americans or human beings so fat? I don't mean fat in poundage. I mean fat in our thinking. Corporations are always thinking up new ways to make our food fatter and our fat-minded asses are always willing to try it. I call some of these things "made up food" meaning it is food that didn't exist in the combination it's being marketed in or in any form a few decades ago. One of the earliest examples that I know of is McDonald's attempt at selling people the pineapple burger. This was for Catholics who didn't eat meat on Fridays during Lent and it was before they came up with the Filet-o-Fish. Now C'mon, you know you woulda tried this non-sense (grilled pineapple slice and a slice of cheese in between 2 buns.. YUM). But anyway here are some of my recent faves:

- Dunkin Donuts Sausage Pancake Bites - Because sausage and pancakes aren't fat enough on their own. Here are the ingredients in case your mouth isn't watering yet. Move over pigs-in-a-blanket. We got pigs in a pancake cocoon of fatness.

- The McDonald's McGriddle - Because the egg McMuffin isn't fat enough for us fattys. Bread is boring. Let's bake some maple flavoring into the pancake (instead of pouring maple flavored high fructose corn syrup on top) AND get half the calories you need for the entire day before noon..Awesome! Care to know what this is made of? go ahead? click here take a look.. I didn't think you would.

ok ok no more picking on breakfast. on to my next fave!

- The KFC Double Down - because plain old bread isn't fat enough. Let's just skip the fluff and sandwich some bacon and cheese and mystery sauce 'tween two ginormous hormone injected chicken breasts, get the fried version for extra all American fatness.

The list of made up food is endless. Enjoy! And don't forget to give thanks tomorrow. By EATING.

Friday, November 19, 2010

It's Not Your Grandmother's Holiday Anymore

When did the return of the gingerbread latte become the most exciting thing about the holidays? When did the Starbucks holiday cup replace Santa Clause and Christmas trees as my most meaningful holiday symbol? I don’t know. But it’s starting to seem like you have to be really old or really young to keep some perspective and appreciate the tiny little things about the holidays. And those of us who fall somewhere in the middle are focused on the money we don’t have for gifts or travel at this time of year, the lack of enthusiasm that comes with the realization that half of your family now lives elsewhere or we are preoccupied with thoughts of the coming new year and what we need to do better or bigger in 2011.
When I was a kid I would be waiting for the JC Penney Christmas Catalog to come out right about now so my brother and I could make an excel spreadsheet style chart using rulers, pens and plain white paper to input the item numbers, page numbers and product names of all the toys we wanted (Just so there was no confusion for Mom or Santa or whoever would do the shopping). For some of us Snowy Christmases have turned into strangely warm Christmases in the South and it just somehow doesn’t feel “right” and certainly not the “same”. Maybe we all need a trip to 5th avenue or Rockefeller Center or The Christmas Show at Radio City Music Hall to get our Christmas Mojo back. But can any of us really go to see the Christmas Window display at Macy’s without dreading the crowds on 34th street and cursing the tourists? Or maybe you have to have kids to recapture the joys and miracles again and enable you to take the attention off of yourself and not dwell on the fact that it’s not the “same” and allow you to focus on building new traditions, instead of selfishly clinging to old ones. I guess the key takeaway here is that like hip hop, house parties, playing outside, kids riding without car seats, riding bikes without helmets, record stores and scripted television shows, Holidays can’t remain the same. I guess we have to adjust.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I Love My Boo

Well I am all for Gay rights and Gay marriage and Gay couples adopting if they want to and I’m all about everyone doing what makes them happy in life so I am in full support of the Gays. I thought I was pretty liberal. With that said, I do NOT get this Ad. If you are fortunate enough to ride the New York City Subways like I am, you may have seen these Ads. The “I Love My Boo” campaign. Apparently it started in the bathrooms of Gay bars and if I understand it correctly it’s all about Gay pride but um… I don’t get it. What is it trying to tell me? Or sell me? I think it’s over kill. We all love our boos but why the Ad? Why do I need to see you loving him? I mean if you do ride the subways or hang out in NYC you see Gays live and in living color everyday and mostly who cares? I don’t think New Yorkers especially need this campaign. We get it. It is geared towards Gay men of color (not sure why, I won’t try to give an explanation here today) so you will only see black or Hispanic men in the Ads. And it is supposed to support pride in the wake of recent attacks on Gay men and apparently it is also supposed to promote safe sex.. But if you are homophobic this Ad won’t help and if you don’t support Gay rights the Ad won’t change your mind.
And I am not one that thinks that kids will be influenced to be gay just by seeing gay people but I STILL wouldn’t want to be going anywhere with my nephew or my godson and have to try to explain this. Is it overkill? Or am I not as liberal as I thought I was. I don’t know. Maybe I need a few more days to mull this over.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


So I have hated Diddy for a long time and there are tons of blogs that will tell you all about how he does artists wrong etc. but this is my list and the cheated artists are only 1 reason. And yes he is a successful black man blah blah blah…. Can’t stand him.

The Top 10 reasons I hate Diddy.. and one more

1. His name is Diddy.. And he keeps changing it.. who cares. I mean really.

2. He needs Rosetta Stone… For ENGLISH. He is so inarticulate I cringe when he speaks and I close my eyes until its over. Make it stop! Make it stop! (Has anyone seen the Pro Activ commercial? “I aint want no bumps on my face”

3. He thinks people take him seriously. They don’t. They can’t. Maybe they take his money seriously but Caucasians everywhere laugh behind his back when he leaves meetings. Oh and black people too. I would.

4. He’s an eternal baby daddy… Really Diddy? Really? Give Kim Porter a ring. Please! She’s been through enough (sigh).

5. “Butta Wavy’s” We all know Diddy loves the Butta Wavy’s. A term I heard him use on some interview somewhere to describe the “better” looking fair skin-long hair-anything-that-doesn’t-look fully-black features of his favorite flavor of woman. But here’s the thing.. his twin daughters aren’t “Butta” or “Wavy” and even sadder for them I think they look like Diddy. I could write 8 posts on this topic but I won’t. not today.

6. I was going to list the M.I.A. Bad Boy Artists of the last decade plus. But why bother.. see them all here.. no one can list them all.. not even Diddy.. who I hate by the way.

7. He thinks he is funnier than he is. No one has the heart to tell him otherwise

8. Why isn’t he tired of the limelight yet? Does he really still need to be on stage? There are tons of things for him to do behind the scenes and still make money and leave room to feature actual artists.. Or here is a wild idea, take some time off and spend with all them damn kids. This is why rich people’s daughters end up in porn and on ecstasy and coke. They do it because they hate you DADDY!! I mean Puffy, I mean Diddy..

9. Al B Sure’s look alike ain’t your son! How you gon act like Al B Sure is dead, throw a super sweet 16 (yes for a boy) and then call it “Stuntin like my daddy” You ain’t his daddy.. if you marry his mom you can be his Step daddy.. but let’s not get crazy here, Diddy ain't marryin that girl

10. Ciroc would sell better if he wasn’t in the commercials

11. He Butchered "A Raisin in the Sun". I feel bad for Phylicia Rashad and all real actors that had to share the stage with his fool ass just because he has A.D.D and wants to do every single thing that may get him some attention.

A Closed Mouth...

OK there are certain things I pay big money for like organic fruits and vegetables and good furniture and more recently hair products but that's basically it. Getting a good deal or a good coupon code for something just makes me giddy with excitement and I want to tell everyone I know and don't know. So here goes, did you know that at Jetblue (and maybe other airlines too but I'm not sure) if you find your flight for less money they will credit you back the difference towards a future flight? so I booked a trip for December and barely a week later it was almost $100 less, got my credit back. I checked today and its $16 less.. got my credit back. I'm not playing and I will be checking every week until my trip. My goal is to have enough credits for an entire new round trip ticket to who-knows-where. And the way I found out is because I called Jet Blue customer support ready to beef and demand my money back but there was no beef needed, apparently its their policy. I would have never known if I didn't ask. And let this be a lesson, most of us are too ready to accept things for what they are or hang onto the idea that we have no real control over the things that are done to us by corporations or the government or other people. but we do.. sometimes.

I hope Jet Blue has the gingerbread biscotti again this year.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Welcome to my blog.. Me.. Can you believe it?

So I'm not a big blogger or even a big blog reader. and I do not have a facebook or twitter account so yes, I am an internet recluse and I am inclined to ask myself, "who cares what you have to say?" and then not knowing the answer to that question would lead me to think I didn't need a blog. So I am starting with that true confession. But I do have a lot to say on random or not so random topics so I am very well practiced at talking, commenting and pontificating on whatever. I was inspired or motivated to do this because my best friend- boyfriend -homieloverfriend told me I might be good at it. So here goes. One basic rule for now (but I reserve the right to add more later), I don't really have the patience for really long posts so I'm going to try to get to the point as briefly as possible for the most part. No essays here. I mean I'm a reader and all, I am not too slow to read lengthy content, I just can't be bothered sometimes ya know!? Enjoy!

P.S. I love the movie "Juice" hence the name of this blog. That's really the only explanation I have. I didn't want to over think it. Like I do with every other thing in my world. And if you didn't see "Juice" exit this site immediately. You won't get me at all! Patner!

For Colored Girls.. who are sick of men trying to make it about them

Now I’m going to keep this brief because I had no intention on writing a review for this movie or even giving my opinion. I liked it, I enjoyed it just like I liked the play and the book when I read it in college. And I don’t feel like getting into the issues about black women and why they are great or why they suck and what about black men blah blah blah.

But then a male friend told me that some people feel the movie left you with nothing positive about black men so here I am. (sigh) I didn’t want to have to do this.
a) The movie doesn’t have to say anything positive about black men. Get over it. You got Hill Harper, he was a nice guy right? Geez!
b) It was based on a book / play from however many years ago. So the movie didn’t try to completely re-invent the play (as it shouldn’t have) and add more nice things about black men to make everyone feel better.
c) Isn’t every article and blog these days about how black women are so troubled or horrible or angry or whatever and how they are going to be single forever..? So why I ask, if there is a movie just to empower black women is this such a threat?

Ok that’s all. I got it out. Thanks for listening and do not feel compelled to answer my last question. It was rhetorical. (P.S. I like Michael Ealy so I’m only putting a pic of him as a visual representation of this entry despite what he did to dem babies in the movie.. how’s that for supporting black men? Again... Don’t answer that)

Pumpkin Mania 2010 Style

Ok I am completely guilty of diving into pumpkin mania head first for the last few years. I have purchased pumpkin muffins, pumpkin lattes (pumpkin lattes might as well be crystal pepsi compared to gingerbread lattes which Starbucks finally brought back last week), pumpkin scones, pumpkin ravioli (don’t ask), pumpkin loaf, pumpkin bread, and I tried a recipe for pumpkin soup. And this season, I was kinda over it. But then I realized I might be over pumpkin consumption but I am NOT over pumpkin for beauty purposes. I was intrigued when I read about some pumpkin puree treatment hair masque from healthysexyhair. Apparently pumpkin has tons of healthy stuff for your hair. I went online and found me a leave in conditioner too!! I’m so excited. I’ll let you know how it goes. And P.S. ordered from Soap.com, I found a coupon code for free shipping and it came super fast and the prices were lower than Amazon and other sites. No more soap.com plugs til they offer me some advertising dollars. Happy Pumpkin product picking!